Shift your perspective!
Perspective. The very word itself indicates a view, a direction, and observation. However, like all things emotional intelligence it’s not fixed- we can shift our perspective, which in turn allows us to live aligned to our values rather than in opposition to them. This gives us the ability to live better, across all elements of our lives. Best of all is it’s easier than you think to shift your perspective and reap the benefits.
You know *those* mornings? You get up on the wrong side of the bed, and even your beloved morning brew can’t perk you up. The house looks like a bomb site and someone can’t find clean school socks. You eat the crusts of another someone’s toast before you’re bundling people out the door. The whole world feels pretty damn bleak and you just can’t deny that you’re in a mood that could curdle milk. Ugh! Now, imagine this:
Juliet waltzes up to you with her magic wand, taps you (gently, or viciously, you choose) on the middle of the forehead and reminds you that you have the power to change your mood and raise your vibration.
Bottom line- you are in control of your emotions and you can choose how you show up. I’m not talking toxic positivity, but rather behaving in a way that is above or below the line. Let me explain.
Above and below the line behaviour is a concept that’s ubiquitous in organisational culture circles. There are many different attributions to the concept, but I personally came across it many moons ago via Rich Dad Poor Dad by by Robert Kiyosaki and Sharon Lechter. I like it conceptually because it’s simple and easy to visualise, but also because it is highly aligned to values.
Above the line behaviour is ownership, accountability, openness and being positively constructive.
Below the line behaviour is the polar opposite. It’s denial, defensiveness, negativity, blaming and making excuses.
Of course, before we can make conscious decisions to shift our perspective, about whether to behave above or below the line, we need to be able to rationally observe ourselves. I talk a little about that concept here but basically when we shift to observation it’s the difference between getting swept up in our emotions and having some distance from them.
It’s this distance that allows us to not catastrophise or personalise situations, rather we can make the decision to create change.
It’s self-awareness, amplified, and takes us out of automatic behaviour and actions. Once we’re aware we can actively change our attitude or perspective and thus our behaviour. When we’re observing we can look for triggers and put in place the strategies and actions we know (from experience and from reflection) that flip our internal switch. We own the good, the bad and the truly horrible but we respond in a way, we make a change, that’s beneficial to us.
First step- a quick check in with your body. Place your hand on your heart, the other on your tummy and acknowledge that you’re in a frame of mind that’s not serving you.
I think it’s important to acknowledge here that there’s a difference between feelings/mood and perspective. Perspective relates to our outlook, which is responsive and considered rather than reactive and reactionary.
Above and below the line gives us an indication of behaviour which then lets us know if we are in a victim or champion mindset- and this reflects our perspective.
Next step- take action to flip that perspective.
This is about mindset and there are a number of tools that will help bring you above the line.
A favourite (due to its sheer simplicity) is language choice. For example:
‘I’ve got to pick up the kids from school and then sit around at footy training.’
Let’s change ‘got’ to ‘get’ and see how a quick switch of vowels carries untold power.
‘I get to pick up the kids from school and then watch them train.’
This changes from feeling rushed, overwhelmed, resentful (aka negative mindset) to feeling grateful, connected and excited (positive mindset).
Another example of conscious word choice is to relabel your emotions in relation to a trigger. For example:
‘I’m not anxious; I’m excited.’
Of course, there is no time like when you’re in a negative mindset with a low perspective to really dig deep on some self-care and nurturing. Self-care activities are a way to look after yourself but are also ways to enable that ability to move from below to above the line behaviour. Some of my favourites include:
• Journalling
• Art journalling- create something visual such as a collage or a mood board
• Call a friend and be vulnerable
• Tell someone you need a hug- physical touch can both ground and lift
• Exercise- if you’re feeling wound up about a presentation (for example) there’s a build up of adrenaline and cortisol which 10 quick pushups will help dissipate
• Pop on your headphones and listen to music as you go about your activities of daily living
• Sit in the garden in the sunshine
• Have a day off- but completely off. If your kids are in childcare send them along so you have a true break
• Go for a walk
• Meditate
• Have a hot bath
• Yoga
• Reading
• Give yourself full permission to sit on the sofa
• Clean your space- cluttered space = cluttered mind
• Clean out the kitchen of crap food that does little to nurture you.
What I encourage clients to do- and this goes for you too, beloved reader- is make a list in advance of what quick actions they can do to inject some self-care to support a shift in perspective. You’ll note that none of the above ideas are prohibitory or expensive- most in fact are free. The key is to have a think while you’re feeling great of things you know you love doing, so when you’re in the funk, you don’t have to creatively come up with an idea. Your list is there; you go for it!
Combined with conscious and selective word choice, the above are just a handful of ideas that work to help my clients- and myself- shift perspectives and turn around an average mindset. Action shifts perspective. Perspective is how you live a life that you absolutely love!
